A Binding Spell to Keep a Toxic Person Away
There are many ways to use magic to discourage negative influences from entering your life, or to keep them from lingering too long there. After more than twenty years of study and hands-on experience, I’ve had the opportunity to explore a number of them—from charms to ward of those with unsavory intentions to curses that would punish individuals who acted with such intent. In the first few years of practicing, I leaned heavily into charms, because I believed they allowed me to use my abilities to avoid as many unpleasant people and situations as possible. And, as a young woman, that was something I wanted. After growing into my twenties (and surviving a number of life-altering negative experiences which profoundly darkened my view of the world and, more importantly, of myself), I began to rely more heavily on curses as my means of magical self-defense. To me, keeping a couple of curses at the ready was little different from keeping a gun on a farm. It wasn’t just smart. It was a necessity of my lifestyle.
I could write that I’ve grown out of that belief now that I’m in my thirties and settled more deeply into a life of looking after children and working with nonprofit groups. I could do that, but that wouldn’t be true. Growing as a person and coming to terms with some of the trauma that I’ve experienced on my journey from childhood to adulthood has helped me to reframe and rebalance my worldview. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still think of the occasional curse as being a magical necessity. I still do.
The thing is, there is a time and a place for all methods of magical practice. When it comes to manifesting your desires through magic, there are always multiple options to choose from. And, while there are rarely right ways or wrong ways to magically handle situations, there is often a most effective way. There will be times when it is more appropriate to ward off those with bad intentions altogether. There will be times when punishing those who have treated you poorly will be the best option, or the only option. And there will be times—many, many times—when the most effective way to magically discourage negative influences in your life lies somewhere in the middle.
Somewhere between the sharp edge of a curse and the gentle nudge of the charm, there is the binding spell. With a binding spell, a practitioner works to subject a target to their will, binding them (so to speak) to the practitioner’s desires as they would be bound to the terms of a contract. The idea behind this type of spell is to change the target’s behavior in some way. This could mean forcing the target to do something they wouldn’t normally do. Or, in this case, it could mean magically forbidding someone from doing something that they normally would do.
Is it ethical? Magical ethics are a muddy subject with a good deal of room for debate (which I don’t have the space or time to fully unpack in this post). One of the most widely held beliefs about magical ethics comes from a portion of the Wiccan Rede—reading simply “an it harm none, do what ye will”—and is interpreted by many of its advocates to state that magic should not be used to do harm of any kind. This is often paraphrased simply as “harm none”. Although this is accepted by many members of the magical community as the overarching ethical code for all witches and practitioners of magic, that view is not entirely accurate.
The fact is that ethics vary greatly from person to person—both in the broad sense and in terms of magic specifically. The magical code of ethics by which a practitioner operates is influenced and determined by a number of things. This can include their religion, culture, worldview and past experience, non-magical ethical code, and magical tradition (among other things). We can neither dictate nor make assumptions about another practitioner’s ethics. So, when we ask the question “Is this ethical?” we have to ask “Is this ethical for me?” That has to be a personal choice based on your ethical beliefs, your faith, your practice, and your situation. Whether or not something is ethical for you has to be your choice.
With that being said, there are, of course, things one shouldn’t do. Ways in which one shouldn’t treat other people. That’s true in all aspects of life. And there are going to be people who do which are wrong, things which go beyond just being against our personal beliefs and which are actually harmful and hurtful to those around them. It’s important to use your own judgement when it comes with magical ethics—both in regards to what you do with your magical workings and to what kinds of people you associate with.
Binding spells, like all manner of magic, can be and often are used in ways that seem unethical. They can be used in ways that defy autonomy and consent. But, when used in other ways, they can also be a powerful tool for magical defense, a means of protecting oneself from the ill-intent of another person (whether they are or are not a magical practitioner). Use your own judgement. If the idea of binding magic doesn’t sit well with you, that’s okay. If you feel that the use of binding magic is both ethical and useful within the framework of your practice, this may be a good working to help keep harmful influences at bay.
tools & supplies
Your choice of magical doll or effigy
Black cord, twine, yarn or thread
A candle
A new pin or needle
A box
Step One: Prepare yourself and your workspace in whatever way you normally do. Many people prefer to work at an altar or in a specific area of their home. Some like to begin by creating a magical circle as either a protective barrier or a sacred space. Some find it helpful to light candles, burn incense, or cense the area, their supplies or themselves. Work in whatever way makes you the most comfortable, which you find the most useful.
Step Two: Holding the effigy in your hands, connect it to the person you wish to bind from doing harm to you. This can be done by focusing your attention on a photograph of that person, by affixing a personal item of theirs to the effigy, by envisioning their face it place of its face, etc. It’s up to you. Say aloud: I name this doll as ___________. All that I do do it will also be done to them.
Step Three: Wrap the black cord or binding tightly around the effigy, focusing concentrating most of the bindings on its arms. (If this person does a good deal of harm in their words, be sure to also bind over where their mouth would be.) Say: With this cord, I bind you in deed and in word, that you may not bring harm to me or those I love. If you like, you can add any specific offenses you would like to prevent in the future as you continue to wrap the effigy up. Light the candle and use its wax to carefully seal the bindings to the doll.
Step Four: Push the pin into the head of the effigy, saying: With this pin, I bind you in thought, that you may not think ill of me, suspect me or plot against me. You may not return this work on me through thought or prayer, by will or chance. Again, drip the candle’s wax over the head of the effigy to seal the pin into it.
Step Five: If you think you may want to undo this spell in the future, place the effigy in a box and place where it will not be disturbed. (I like to put mine in a box with a mirror to encourage reflection and to make it more difficult to remove the spell.) You can remove the spell by cutting the bindings from the effigy and dismantling the spell completely. If you do not think you will need to remove the spell later—or would like to keep yourself from doing so—you can bury or burn your spell curios. (Many people also bury and burn their workings as a means of activating spell work.)